Someone dies and then what?
There are two types of outcome situations when someone dies – either it was pending or a doctor is satisfied what caused a person’s death OR, the person dies unexpectedly, violently, in suspicious circumstances, or if a general practitioner (GP) or doctor is unsure of what caused a person’s death.
The second types of situations are referred to the coroner (explained separately).
This explanation refers to the first type of situation where a death was pending, or a doctor is satisfied what caused a person’s death.
Dying is different for every person, and so too is the death for every family and whānau and individual.
People experience uncontrollable emotions, the heart beats faster, and confusion may present itself. Slowing down the breathing in any heightened state can help with our personal self care at times of crisis – it’s what first aid courses teach us and could help. As is keeping up hydration over the coming days – non-alcoholic, the better.
The Importance of Time
It’s also important to do whatever feels right during this time, in your own time, taking as much time as you need, especially to say your first goodbyes to the deceased.
Non-medical or Medical Events
If it’s not a medical event, you don’t have to call an ambulance or the police, but it is helpful to note the time of death. If it is a medical event, then call an ambulance and possibly the police.
Certifying the Death
Whether a death occurs in a hospital, a rest home or at a private home, a doctor needs to certify the death by completing a Medical Certificate of Cause of Death. This is not the death certificate as that is separately applied for through Birth, Deaths & Marriages.
Contacting your GP if at home, could wait until the morning if the person died overnight. It could also allow close relatives or friends to come and say their goodbyes.
Turning off room heaters and electric blankets to keep the room as cool as possible, is particularly instrumental if the person is to be embalmed, or not.
Engaging a Funeral Director
Where a funeral director of your choice is to be engaged, a call to the funeral home can give them the heads up so that the transferring of the deceased into their care, can be arranged.
At the time of transfer, you may be asked if the deceased is for burial or cremation; whether to embalm or not; if the deceased is to come home or not; and any initial thoughts around a funeral service, or not.
If you don’t know the answers to these, that’s okay. These details can be followed up on a little later in the day. Families & whānau may need the time to come together to decide collectively, if there is no pre-plan, or there isn’t any recording of the deceased wishes captured.
Sometimes families may provide some clothes at the time of the transfer, or later if undecided; and let’s remember the teeth or dentures, if they’d been removed leading up to the death.
Once decided, there could be some form of further funeral director interaction to arrange the funeral options. It’ll also include capturing information required to register the death with Birth, Deaths & Marriages.
Registering the Death Yourself
For the record, if you’re not using a funeral director, you must register the death yourself. You’ll need to submit the registration form to Births, Deaths and Marriages within 3 working days of the burial or cremation.
It’s free to register a death, but there is a fee if you choose to order a death certificate.
You can find under the ‘Resources’ tab at my “Everything Funeral” website, a helpful downloadable form to record both the wishes and demographic information that you may be asked for.
Some Final Points
A doctor will need to sight the body if the disposition of the deceased is for cremation and in most instances, would generally occur before the transfer of the deceased into a funeral directors’ care.
Ring around funeral directors to obtain a written estimate for all transactional aspects of your funeral engagement. There is a $2-$4K difference in direct cremation costs across 19 different operators that provide this service in Christchurch. A little time invested can save you expense in the pocket.
And lastly, dying is different for everyone; pause and take the time where needed, breath, hydrate and if you have any further questions about this vlog content, please do reach out.
Hopefully that’s given you some context around what to do when someone dies.